A Very Aggressive Beaster

I picked Ava up from daycare on Friday, and the answer to my daily question, "How was she today?" was met with a new response.  "Ava started learning timeout today."  Oh.  When I asked why, her teacher said that she's a little on the aggressive side when she interacts with the other kids.  What?  My kids? Agressive?  Surely not.  

Seriously, both of my kids are bulls in China closets.  Whenever they're in the vicinity it's a constant tornado of climbing, wrestling, shrieking, hair pulling, etc.  Frankly, the timeout revelation didn't surprise me one bit.  I know my kids, and I refer to them as "the turds" for a reason.  My mom on the other hand, was absolutely devastated.  She continued to insist that they were setting unrealistic expectations, because "She's still just a baby!"  Yes, but a very large, strong baby.  Boundaries are best set early.  

Today, while Taylor was absorbed in a TV program, my mom got to see the Beaster how she is in full-tornado mode.  I'm not even exaggerating, the following photos were all taken within about a two minute time period.

1. Holding up very heavy board book and flinging it around while Mama ducks in terror.

2.  Stopping to "read" said heavy book.

3. Screw this.  Make Lovie hold up heavy-ass book.  My arms are tired from trying to knock Mama unconscious with it.

4. Crawl back over to Mama and turn on the charm.

5. Head-butt Mama in the eye.

6. While Mama (No, that is not Gilbert Gottfried with my kid.  And yes, I realize now that makeup-free is not really a good look for me.) is temporarily blinded attempt to dislocate her jaw.  The tiny fingernail scratches are just for a souvenir.

7. Survey all that will soon be mine once I can convince Mom and Dad that I don't need nighttime restraint.

8.  Rally the troops!  Getting the screaming monkeys going, and screaming along in chorus.

9. Squeeze and shake screaming monkey while doing a victory dance.

So, again, there's no way this sweet, and mild "baby" would be acting aggressively toward other children.  I'm calling it a conspiracy.

Fair Time

This past weekend marked the beginning of the one week a year that parents around the area hate - the Tri State Fair.  Don't get me wrong, it has potential - rickety rides, live animals, and all the deep fried goodness your arteries can handle.  However, it also has every parent's bain - long lines, absurdly expensive admission/food prices, and elbow to elbow crowds.  Have I mentioned I hate the fair?  This year my dad and step-mom wanted to take the grandkids, and my step-brother and his wife oh-so-graciously offered to let the kids sleep over the night before so that Jody and I could have a much needed night off (A night that perhaps culminated with me standing on a chair singing "The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You," in the third quarter of the Texas game after yet another touchdown.  Hey, I only said perhaps, and plus, I don't get out much.).  Anyhoo, AnnaLisa sent me all of her awesome pictures, which I am plagiarizing and posting here.  I'll caption what I can with my own creative musings since I wasn't there, but sometimes making up your own plot can be way more fun than the truth :)

The big girls rockin' the kids' table.  Oh how they'll long for this respite from the adult table in about twenty years.

Post-bath.  AnnaLisa is waaaaaay braver than I am and dunked all three in at the same time.  Miraculously, no one drowned, and AnnaLisa even survived without getting soaked.  This woman is not human......

Yeah, Jered decided to bring home McDonald's knowing that there were three greedy children (two of whom are mine, and could eat a winnebago if it were made of french fries) under his roof. 

Guess who decided that Aunt Lisa needed to get up and party with her at 3:00 am?

I have proof!  My kids went to church, and their skin did not bubble up and peel off!

Again, AnnaLisa has inhuman powers when it comes to kids.  I can never get my kids to both look at the camera and smile at the same time.

So maybe the troops were a little tired after the slumber party.

Beaster goes bobbing for ducks.......

 

....and wins a fabulous prize!

Biker babes.....

....then sailors......

.....next race car drivers........

...and lastly a cowgirl.  Anyone else seeing parallels to the Village People? 

Ava wasn't totally sold on this whole horse thing.

My billy goat feeding a billy goat :)

Taylor was pumped about the camel.  Papa Val told me he wasn't all that sold on the idea.  Thankfully, Joe Camel opted not to spit on dear old dad, and lived to see another day.

Who's surprised by this picture?  Certainly not me.  I'm just thankful Taylor didn't take out the carney on her downswing.

I don't think Kadey is all that impressed with her cousin's witty repartee.  Reminds me somewhat of Cella and me as kids, lol!

Brain freeze!

So the upside is that everyone involved in the fair outing (and those of us who got a hall pass to skip it) had a great weekend.  And as a bonus, both kids are still working off that sugar hangover and have gone to bed willingly, and early, two nights in a row.  Thank you again to my awesome family for taking our kids to the fair!

Soaking Up the Last of Summer

This past week has made it more and more apparent that fall is on its way.  Jody and I have been trying our best to get the girlies out in the sunshine while we can, because lord knows it will be too cold before we know it.  

Last Saturday, we decided to load up our wagon......

Get it?

.....and head out for the neighborhood park.  As usual, Taylor wanted to swing the entire time, but once Jody and I reached the point of our arms feeling as though they could fall off, we bribed her onto the rest of the playground.

Hopefully this isn't an indication of a future career path.

Not sure which of my three kids had more fun.

Look at that face and tell me I'm not in for it.

As I mentioned before, fall has been trying to sneak in to our area, and while I'm ready for cooler weather, I'm not ready for the whole "stuck indoors 24-7" part.  

Ava's apparently ready though.  She's working out her Al Bundy skills now.

Fortunately though, today was a bit warmer, so the girls and I made a beeline for the zoo while Jody was at work this morning.  I didn't think Ava would give a flip about being pushed around in the stroller all day, but I was dead wrong.  She had a blast pointing and chattering at all the animals, and Taylor just liked being able to run amok.

The damn tiger wouldn't cooperate with my photo-op.  Ava's making up for it by growling at me in her stripy pants.

This is how 90% of my attempts to get a good picture of them in front of an exhibit turned out.  

Taylor LOVED the herpetarium.  No, that's not where they quarantine the animals with herpes, it's where the creepy-crawlies hang out.  Her favorite was the bullfrog, hands down.

Oh yeah, I was there too!  Aggie shot!