Happy Halloween!

Because I'm the funniest person I know (hopefully, you get that joke.....), I thought it would be absolutely hilarious if the girls went as devils for Halloween this year. As it turns out, this was probably one of the cheapest, easiest Halloweens we'll ever have. At least, as far as costumes go.

Ta-da!

I was also really excited because this year, Taylor would finally be old enough to really appreciate the concept of Trick or Treating. We started out at our friend Linda's house, and by the time we had made it three doors down, Taylor had the system down pat. Only problem was that after she left a house, she immediately went sprinting for the street (DANGER!) on her mission to continue getting as much candy as her sticky little hands could grab. After about a block and a half though, her energy wore out and it was time to go back home. We were thankful for her energy loss, because the old folks (that would be us) were tired as hell from back-to-back Halloween parties this weekend. Also, poor Jody's arm was about to fall off from carrying Chunk-a-lunk around in her carseat for a block and a half.

I'm big-boned!

After a massive meltdown in the car courtesy of Taylor, we decided to forego any of our other friends' neighborhoods and call it quits. Ava woke up with snot coming out of every orifice in her face this morning, and she was starting to sound like Darth Vader to boot. All I've got to say is god bless "Ni Hao, Kai Lan," because that was the only thing that finally settled her down and stopped the screaming.

Don't feel too sorry for her, she's all hopped up on sugar and promptly crashed 10 minutes later.

Damn Paparazzi

Always hassling me.......

Why Crappy TV Happens to Us All

So in the last few months, I've devised a theory. I would say that most of the mothers I know all had a drinking slip-up before we found out we were pregnant. I can attest that I had a couple of crazy nights each time before I saw the double line on the pregnancy test, and even though every doctor in the world will tell you that there's no need to worry, your kid will be fine, I disagree. Case in point - the crappy TV shows that kids are drawn to like a freakin' magnet.

Now, mind you, we don't have cable. We just don't watch TV enough to justify paying $50 a month for a service that will mostly go unused. Instead, we pay $15 a month for Netflix and stream random crappiness to our TV. Taylor is the main watcher of said crappiness, and after exhausting the Sesame Street and Nickelodeon options, she has moved on to European children's fodder. Don't get me wrong, we don't encourage it, she just picks them randomly from the pictures on the screen. This has resulted in a new love for the Swedish gem, "Pingu." See for yourself below:

Now granted, I don't mind this one as much, because at least its funny. Probably not the best for budding language development, but TV is supposed to rot your brain anyhow, right?

Next, we have "Kipper." This show is so horribly craptastic, YouTube won't even let me embed the stupid clip. So instead, here's the link: http://youtu.be/W1wORYjzMEs

This show sucks the life force right out of me. I'm pretty sure Kipper and his buddies all smoke a TON of pot. That's the only real explanation I have for his demeanor. And inexplicably, Taylor absolutely adores this show. I would rather gouge myself repeatedly with a blunt object than watch this crap. I know, I'm sounding awfully angry about all of this, but if you had to watch the same 5 episodes of "Kipper" over and over again (Because God forbid we change it up a little, why try something new when you know what you like?), you'd be a little agro too.

So, in closing, here's my PSA to all you ladies out there who are in a situation to possibly become pregnant. Don't drink at all. Ever. Because if you turn up pregnant, and you've drank any quantity of alcohol during that little "leeway time," I guarantee you'll wind up in the same boat I'm in two years from now. It's ok, you're welcome.

Recap

So yeah, yeah. I'm kinda not doing so well at keeping up with things around here these days. Considering that I'm not even keeping up with minor housework, who's really surprised that I'm not keeping up with the blog? Those of you who are working moms with more than one kid will surely sympathize, and for those of you who aren't in that boat, just be thankful. Oh, and could you throw the rest of us a life preserver?

Taylor is quickly becoming a "kid" as opposed to my baby that I once knew. She's 100% potty trained as far as peeing goes, but she's still 100% NOT potty trained with the pooping part. Seriously, why oh why would you prefer to poop in your pants? It just boggles my mind, even though I know this is a very common potty training hang up. Poo-pants aside, she still continues to amaze and entertain us on a daily basis. For example, did you know a toolbox can double as a car?



Me either. But apparently it does, according to Taylor.


.....until you get stuck in said "car" that is. As an aside, I swear, I really do put clothes on my kids the majority of the time. But on the weekends, I've learned to pick my battles.

Ava is getting bigger by the minute too. She's sitting up very well as long as something is propping her upright.



See? And aren't you jealous of her 8 Mile hoodie look?

She's becoming more and more active every day, and is really starting to interact with us all. The other night, Taylor was pissed because she had to share the tub with Ava, and in the middle of Taylor's tantrum Ava just looked at her and smiled. Taylor melted just as quickly as the rest of us always do, and after that the situation was hunky-dory.



Just a photo of the random cuteness.

Anyhoo, I promise I'll try and be better about updating. But I make no guarantees. I feel guilty when I've updated my blog much more recently than I've scrubbed any facet of this house. I know I've threatened before, but once again it's awful tempting to just burn this hellhole down and start over as opposed to cleaning the bastard.

Three Months

Ava has officially entered my favorite age of babyhood - three months. She is just a smiley, giggly little butterball!

She is still so surprised every time she uses her legs to stand up.

In the last few days she has also discovered her hands. Taylor was never really fascinated by her extremities when she found them, so its been very entertaining watching Ava just staring, mesmerized, at her fists. Lately, Ava has also managed to get herself rolled over in her crib. This is both good and bad. Good in the sense that she's not griping for as long about being on her back, but bad in the sense that she seems to be pretty pissed off when she's on her tummy too. Side sleeping is her preferred position, but unfortunately, once she gets that momentum going she is usually unable to stop where she wants.

Where she'd rather be.....

Where she usually winds up.

Taylor is coming around to Ava a lot more so. When she thinks we're not looking, I'll catch her tickling Ava or giving her kisses on the head. We've made a few attempts to bathe them together, but unfortunately that still becomes such a cluster its not really worth it most of the time. Case in point - tonight Taylor kept trying to "help" wash Ava by dumping water on her head over and over. I finally had to just take the cup away and get Ava out of there. But the point is, it's starting to get a little easier to juggle two kids. I'm thinking that by this time next year, it'll be a piece of cake - famous last words I'm sure!

The three of us watching a movie together. I honestly never thought I'd see the day where Taylor would willingly sit next to her sister.

Oh, the Battles We Wage

Tonight I had an epiphany. Pat Benetar once said that love is a battlefield, and I must say I disagree. Raising a family, that's a battlefield. One laced with land mines and napalm. Seriously, I've already said that most days I feel like I'm hunkered down in the trenches of Vietnam just praying for survival. Fortunately, most of our "battles" really only turn out to be minor skirmishes that we eventually prevail on. Here's just a quick rundown on the fun that's been going on here lately.

Battle #1 - Taylor vs. the Potty

I'm listing this one first mainly because its a battle that has been long, and fraught with much peril. We began said battle this past January, and are just now beginning to truly reap some rewards. Taylor is accident free about 90% of the day, with the only real shortcomings being in the pooping and sleeping department. I will still never understand why kids are way more willing to pee in the pot versus pooping, but that's another topic for another day. The long and short of it is that Taylor's teacher even recommended sending her to school in panties from now-on as opposed to Pull-ups. Can I get an amen for daycare????

Yeah, it's over six months old, but she's still gonna kill me for this one day.

Battle #2: Ava vs. Rolling Over

Ava has started to roll over somewhat in the last week which has become both a blessing and a curse. At bedtime the battle used to be that she preferred snoozing on her side (as in when I hold her) as opposed to the safer "back to sleep" method endorsed by the American Somebody of Pediatrics Juggernaut. A couple of days ago she managed to manuever (insert Eddie Izzard joke here) onto her side, fell immediately to sleep and life was good. Now, unfortunately, she has managed to increase her rolling capabilities to all the way onto her face. This results in pissed off child, a giant pool of spit-up (yeah, night time is when the reflux tends to be at its peak) and me grumpily taking on the task of changing the crib sheets. If you've never had to do this last one, be thankful. Crib sheets are the bitch of all bitches.

Yep.

Battle #3: The Dreaded Family Photo

Oy. That's all I really have to say about this one. Family photos are like communism - it sounds all good when you're batting it around, but the execution never results in the intended outcome. For months now my sister in law and I have been planning to get the three girls in matching outfits and take pictures. Sounds simple, right? WRONG. First off it took Jesus, Ghandhi, and Buddha to all align their schedules in order for us to all find a date that would work for everyone. After a few reschedules, we finally pinned down a day. Now, I'm not going to go into detail, but trust me, the day we chose wound up not being very high up on the list of good mental health days for me. The kids were driving me nutso, I still hadn't gotten ready, my only remaining pair of flattering jeans got soaked by my own water bottle, and yeah, the shoot was only an hour and a half away at that point. Add in various snafus of uncooperative children (Namely mine. Kadey was an absolute perfect little doll.), and the end result was still good, albeit comical.

Ta-da! Note the sullen expression on both kids' faces coupled with the raggedy once-pink remnant that is still Thumper. That bastard is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

And again, note the happy smiling Kadey amidst Taylor pointing out her owie on her elbow, and Ava just plain being done with the whole ordeal.

And last but not least,

Battle #4: Me vs. My Own Sleep Needs

I remember last year when the "Eclipse" midnight premiere came about, and I was hesitant to go because I was worried about being a total zombie at work the next day. At the time, my dear friend Lenzi imparted some truly profound wisdom on me that I will half-assedly try to share with you all. In a nutshell, she said that, "Just wait until you have two kids like me, you won't even need sleep anymore." The biggest humor in that last statement is that we've each increased our kid quotient by one since then. Suckers. But sadly, I've come to realize she was totally right. Despite all logic, I can function pretty amazingly on 4 hours of sleep these days. Now, don't get me wrong, after a couple of weeks of this, Jody is ready to sell me to whatever drifter might happen by, and I usually have some sort of emotional meltdown that ends with me bawling, "I just need a nap!!!!!!" After said nap, all is good again with the state of the world.

Life in the Trenches

I'm not going to lie, life around here has been an absolute living hell as of late. I feel like its all Jody and I can to do get out of this alive. Honestly, I realize lots of people have kids closer in age than ours, and a lot of people have more kids than we do. The only explanation I have is that these people have lost their damn minds. Between potty training, sleep training, the terrible twos, and reflux Jody and I are absolutely exhausted and usually in a pissy mood.

Taylor usually starts the day with at least 2-3 mini-meltdowns before we even make it out the door to daycare. The poor kid just gets so overly emotional that all I know to do is sit her in time out until she chills out. Sadly, she spends so much time there that now when she starts getting going on a fit she'll usually put herself in time out to calm down. Kinda sad, but kinda handy at the same time.


One of the rare moments where she's not screaming and crying.


Pa-corn Daddy!!!!!


Ava's doing great for the most part, I still can't believe she'll be three months old next week! The snafu with Ava is that she has begun waking up every night at 3:00 am. We have tried like hell to troubleshoot this issue, is she hungry, poopy, wet, etc. When none of these were the solution, in my state of exhaustion I just stuck her in bed with us for the remainder of the night so that we could at least get a little more sleep.


Spooning with Daddy.

Enter problem #2. Now, I'm pretty sure she's waking up just to get moved into the warm comfy bed with Mom & Dad. The minute I pick her up out of her crib, she snuggles up and goes right to sleep. Unless I put her back in her crib, that is. Now, I realize lots of parents do the whole co-sleeping thing, but that's just not how we roll. For one, it makes me terribly nervous having such a small person in the same bed (one of my biggest fears is suffocation because we rolled over on her). For two, I've known way too many people that had the hardest time breaking this habit and getting their kids back in their own bed. We already have enough battles on our plate, and I don't wanna add one that's entirely my own fault. So, what's the solution, you ask? As mean as it sounds, we've just been letting her work it out on her own. After about 10-15 minutes she usually settles back down and goes back to sleep. And about 10-15 minutes after that (because I have to go and obsessively check to make sure she's not maneuvered her face into the bumper), I usually finally fall back asleep myself. So, guess who's utterly sleep deprived?



This is how I find Ava sleeping most nights. Really doesn't appear to be the most comfortable position......


So, needless to say, we've got more than our fair share of excitement around here. To be honest, I'm ready to be boring again. At this point I feel like we're living in the trenches of Vietnam, just trying to stay alive and keep our sanity intact.



Charlie everywhere!!!!!!!!