This weekend Ava and I are home alone while Jody and Taylor are braving the big city of Gruver. Jody and his brother-in-law are up helping his dad wire his new barn, and Taylor is going to be partying it up with her cousins and Grammy while the men do all the work. Normally I would have tagged along too, but with Ava not sleeping through the night yet, it just didn't seem fair to interrupt everyone else's sleep at 3 a.m. when we could stay at home and I could be the only one to suffer the early wake-up's (after 4 weeks of it I'm pretty much used to it anyway). Plus, I have to admit, the thought of a weekend without my two older children (Yes, I include Jody in that head count. Spend an afternoon with him and Taylor rough-housing and you'll understand.) was just so tempting I couldn't resist.
Oh no, Mom's going to make me watch those damn "Twilight" movies. Someone call CPS!
As of now, Ava and I have been rockin' it solo for 12 whole hours. I have gone on an oven strike, and had a corn dog with chips for dinner last night. The strike is going to continue through today if I have anything to say about it (And just who is here to challenge me anyway? Oh thats right, NO ONE!). I was also able to start a new book last night that I've been wanting to get around to for several weeks. It was so nice to be able to read quietly on the couch without a little midget coming up and trying to run away with my book or eat my book light (Yes, that last part actually happened. I was on the phone for less than 2 minutes and the little terrorist ate my freakin' book light. Chewed the on/off switch right off. Thanks Taylor).
The funniest part of it all is that I think Jody is actually feeling a little sorry for me for being home all by myself with nothing to do. Before he left yesterday he suggested I call over a friend to hang out and keep me company, but yeah, that would kind of detract from the whole "home alone" appeal of it all. Remember that scene in "Date Night" where Steve Carrell is just absolutely baffled when his wife, Tina Fey, describes her ultimate fantasy of getting a hotel room by herself and reading a book with no one bothering her? I totally get that. It must be a woman thing, because like Steve Carrell, Jody just doesn't see the appeal of having an opportunity to possibly get bored, or even better just to relish not having to hear, "Mama, mama, mama-mama-mama, MAMA!!!" from the little gremlin clinging to your leg. Don't get me wrong, I adore every member of my little family, but sometimes a break can be refreshing too.
And speaking of my better halves, don't be feeling too badly for them. My brother-in-law made sure to call me on their way back from O.D.-ing on barbecue to tell me how fabulous of a meal I missed, and Jody's dad even admitted to having the meat sweats. This is an actual condition in which you eat so damn much meat at one sitting that your kidneys promptly give you the bird and you find yourself perspiring from the effort of digesting all that protein you just consumed. If you've never experienced this phenomenon go eat at a Brazilian steakhouse, I guarantee you'll understand by the time they roll your ass out the door. As for Taylor, I'll just let you see for yourself:
Not only is she dead to the world, she didn't even wake up when Jody turned on the light to take this picture. Awesome!
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